Vent Session

Let me get this off my chest!

Being about two months out from Christmas (and even less to my birthday), I've started thinking about Christmas gifts. My family has been asking me what I might want for gifts. Of course there are some books/DS games/movies, etc that I would love to have and obviously made the list.

But the more I thought about it, the most disgusted with myself I became. I am IMMENSELY blessed. I have more books, movies, DS games than one child should. I love to read. I have more books in my house than I could read in an entire year (one whole room of my house is essentially a library). I own all my favorite movies on DVD. And still I want more. I just feel like kicking myself in the butt.

I was a lucky one. I never had to work to pay my way through college or life. My parents took on that responsibility gladly because they didn't want us graduating with debt. Literally almost every material thing I have is from my parents. My car, my house, insurance (car, health, house). My laptop, iPod, iHome radio... It blows me away how generous they have been in providing for my sister and I. And although I'm sure it took sacrifices in their lives in some way or another, I've never once heard about it, beyond general teasing. My dad has a picture of my sister and I in his wallet and often says "I put a picture where my money used to be". Sadly, that's true. My mom is so selfless in her generosity and together they provided an idyllic childhood for my sister and I. I pray that they both know how much we appreciate it, and I think they do, but its sickening to me to think that I have everything I could ever want and I still think I might need/want more.

So, that got me thinking...

What is truly important in life? Is it what we own, who we love, where we live, what church we attend, how many cars we have, how many Bible verses we can quote?

Our society instills in us one thing... Our church another... Our family possibly another... is there a right or wrong to what is important in life?

It is so funny looking back on how I was raised and thinking about the things I want to teach my children (obviously my future child). As a child, I never felt like I ever was without, but compared to others, we definitely didn't have everything we ever wanted, although we had MORE than enough. Did I get to have the newest Nintendo system every Christmas? Probably not. Did I have a closet full of Limited Too clothing? Definitely not. Did my parents say "no" to many things I asked for? ABSOLUTELY YES! But did I truly go without? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I feel truly blessed to have been raised the way I was. Am I saying my parents are perfect? No. Sorry, Mom and Dad. However, I truly believe that they ALWAYS had my best interest at heart. We didn't go on week long family vacations to the beach every year. This was a SACRIFICE because we know time away is always great! We didn't have a brand new vehicle ever 3 or 4 years.....BUT I never felt like I was ever without!

You always hear your parents say "You have so much more than I ever had growing up!" I've recently started wondering: why is it that parents feel their children need to have more than they did? They got this far and are more than fine and fulfilled. Why do parents feel that material things or giving, giving, and more giving is what is most important for their child? Why do adults feel like the best you can do for your child is to constantly give them EVERYTHING they want? Is it because the parents feel guilty or that they feel material things is what makes their child happiest or that they are so tired of hearing their child beg that is is easier to just give them something to shut them up?

Now, I'm definitely not blaming my parents in a negative way. I understand them wanting a better life for their children; I think it's part of being a parent. You put someone else before yourself, no matter what. I don't think that all the wonderful things they provided for us are because they wanted us to value material things. They wanted us happy, and sadly enough, "things" make us happy, more times than not.

And although my sister and I were admittedly spoiled with material things, they taught us to value far more than those "things"; character, honestly, loyalty, faith... the TRULY important and invaluable things in this life. They were happy to put me through college as long as I maintained at LEAST a B-average GPA and actually took school seriously. Had I slacked off and failed, I would have been on my own. They wouldn't literally abandon me, but they also wouldn't reward me for throwing their money down the drain. They were happy to provide me with a house assuming I took care of it and didn't demolish it with constant partying and nonsense. Their motto has always been: "we'll get you through school, but you most definitely have to earn it. No exceptions, no excuses." And when I graduate, they'll continue to float me along until I get my first job and can provide for myself. It's only fair. They've put me in a position to excel and perform at my highest level; the expectations don't end after college. They definitely won't pay for everything the rest of my life; why put me through college if I'm never going to use my degree and training?

What is most important in life? Is it the time we spend with our children or the time our children spend with the material things we can give them?

I know for everyone what is most important is different but make a list for yourself.

Does it start with the brand name of jeans you have on, the number of carats in your diamond, how much you can spend on a night out or in one store?

OR

Does it start with being there for your child on a day they are sick and have to stay home, having quality time with your husband that doesn't require one of you holding a remote control, enjoying a Sunday with family and friends at your local church, watching your baby take its first steps, watching your baby do all its firsts?

A constant thought that goes through my head to help me decide what might be important or not is this: Can I take it with me? I am definitely not saying that I don't enjoy nice things. I definitely do! But at what point do you make a SACRIFICE? At what point is something better higher on my list.

I recently read a devotional based on the Gospel of Mark 10:17-30:

As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up,
knelt down before him, and asked him,
"Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
Jesus answered him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.
You know the commandments:
You shall not kill;
you shall not commit adultery;
you shall not steal;
you shall not bear false witness;
you shall not defraud;
honor your father and your mother."
He replied and said to him, "Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth."
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him,"You are lacking in one thing.
Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me."
At that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

So much easier said then done....do you not agree? But WHY? Why do we put so much importance into our earthly "things"? This is one thing I want to work on so much and pray about more than anything else!

I think the sooner I can find happiness in God, my friends, my family, my significant other (one day)... rather than on material things, the sooner I can truly understand what happiness is!

Basically, it all boils down to this: Having the best THINGS is not a substitute for having the best LIFE.