Dear So and So

Dear President Obama,

I respect your well placed words at the memorial service and one reporter said that the cost of war will stay with you throughout your term. I honestly hope that is so, I honestly hope that a man who has never served under this great nation will be able to lead our troops into a war that has no boundaries. I honestly pray for your guidance in leading a divided country and not allowing the forces that elected you sway your opinion.

Act wisely,
Emily

Dear Television,

Okay I have waited long enough! Please bring back Army Wives! I just have to see what happens with Pamela! She's my favorite by the way!

Going through serious withdrawal,
Emily

Dear Monkey Bread,

Why oh why do you have to be so darn tasty and so darn fattening at the same time? What’s a girl to do?

Peeved,
Emily

Dear Kat (phonetics teacher from HELL),

Please go away. Far far away. As in back to Japan. Thanks!

I’ll pack for you,
Emily

Dear Sarah Palin,

I think you would have been an AMAZING Vice President. Thanks for being classy on Oprah even though you know she doesn’t like you. And, I think it's adorable that you thought your biggest secret was the D you got in college! We are sisters from another mister! I can SOOOOOOOO relate. I will be reading your book one day.

Please run in 2012,
Emily


Dear FaceBook Applications,

Why are you a part of my life? You are stupid and time consuming... but yet almost everyone I know plays at least one game. I still don't understand why we all think virtual farming, fish, or mafias are so cool! But I find myself scheduling my day around my next energy pack.

Pathetically yours,
Emily

Dear DVR,

I could not live without you! You have saved the last 5 weeks worth of shows that I have missed! want to watch again. Oh how could I have ever lived without this wonderful invention?

Catching up,
Emily

Dear Levi Johnston,

I do not care which political leader's daughter you knocked up... they are not your ticket to fame. Leave them alone and get a life. You are biting the hand that feeds your child, and for that you should be creamed! I loathe money hungry jerks such as you.

Grow up,
Emily

Dear Oprah,

Thank you for being nice to Sarah Palin on your show today. I know you are a die hard Democrat and love Barack way too much, but I appreciate that you didn’t treat her (too)bad.

Grateful,
Emily

Dear L.A.,

Have you lost your mind? You actually let them do that big ceremony for M.J. (By the way he is dead, DROP IT) and you didn't send anyone a bill? Have you lost your mind to foot a 1.4 million dollar ceremony where the tickets were FREE and your state is writing IOU's to taxpayers?!? Seriously? You need a better financial adviser!

Over M.J.,
Emily

Dear Sadie Jane,

You are currently laying in my lap and snoring and I think it’s beyond adorable. And… you kept me alive last night when my house was freeeeeeeezing. Thanks for keeping me warm, snuggle bug. I love you.

Love love love,
Momma

Dear Twilight,

Is there any way that you can go away, and like now? You and your OBSESSED Twilight followers are really annoying us normal folk. Thankyouverymuch.

Anti-vampire,
Emily

Dear North Korea,

Have you lost your mind? Why are you showing off... if you really wanted to be a threat then you wouldn't be publicly testing your weapons systems. You know if you cross that gray line that America will put a boot up your bootie anyways! (Well hopefully our president can handle that.)

Not scared of you,
Emily

Dear Taylor Swift,

It is unfair that one human being should have hair as gorgeous as yours. And it’s really unfair that it is ENTIRELY natural. Please share the wealth, girl!

Life is unfair,
Emily

P.S. Congrats on the Entertainer of the Year! You TOTALLY deserve it!


Dear Ryan O'Neil,

I am very sorry that the passing of your beloved Farrah has been overshadowed by Michael Jackson. We are all truly heartbroken for your loss and want to wish you our condolences.

Sincerely sorry,
Emily

Dear TTUHSC,

Get your act together, please. There was absolutely no need to place a hold on my record. I had all my transcripts 4 months ago, so my file is, in fact, complete. Get a grip, please.

Quit annoying me,
Emily

Dear McDreamy,

Thanks for making my heart beat out of my chest at the mere mention of your fine self. You are more droolworthy now than ever. I love you!

Your wifey,
Emily