Dear So and So

Dear Sandra Bullock,
I am soooooooooo glad that your movie The Blindside is getting such positive reviews. And I am so glad that you made history by being a part of the first movie in history to pass the $200 million mark with only one top-billed female star. You go girl!

Loved it,
Emily

P.S. I am choosing to let this fashion/necklace disaster slide. This time. You hear me, Sandy. Don't let it happen again.


Dear Matty boy,
I am so sorry that your Horns lost last night. It was a tough way to end the season. But, don't cry too hard... they did win the Big 12 Championship this year. By the way, you still look smoking in that baby diarrhea poop orange color.

You're hot,
Emily


Lady Gaga,
Well, you have done it again. Just when I thought you couldn't get any more ridiculous, you wore this ridiculously awful contraption hat. By the way, is that a hat made out of hair, or what on earth is that?!?! And I have no idea why Polaroid wanted to make you the spokeswoman. There are plenty of pictures of you in all your ridiculousness glory. Oh, and your father thinks that your "spokesperson" gig is your first real job? Not much ambition, eh?

Ugh,
Emily


Dear Bradley Cooper,
I thought that your movie The Hangover might be the most retarded movie I've ever seen. But, on your appearance on David Letterman this week, you looked fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Love,
Emily


Dear Blake Lively,
I never really saw your Gossip Girl show, but I understand that it has made you popular because you are everywhere. But, this is just not acceptable. Blue and black DO NOT under any circumstances go together in the same outfit. Navy blue and black don't work either. Please get a new stylist, like now.

Go change clothes,
Emily


Dear Al Gore,
I think you are slightly freaky. Like, duh! But, I think this ad is just hilarious... this is supposedly a hilarious cartoon that makes me laugh the "scene" outside your Global Warming conference.

I'm confused,
Emily


Dear Kate,
First, this creeps me out. Like major.


Sorry, Kate. You just weren't meant for long hair extensions of fake hair.In fact, I can still see your real (short) hair feathered on top of the faux tresses. Not cool. But on the other hand, this severely bothers me as well...

Sorry, Kate. Don't like your power bitch buzz cut short hair either.
Basically I'm thinking you have 3 options: 1) grow your real hair out to just above your shoulders and add a few (non-severe!) layers, 2) adopt a veil like women do overseas, or 3) buy stock in paper bags. Whew! Glad that's out.

Let me buy you a mirror,
Emily

Forgive me for sounding so judgmental, but you know you can't stand her hair either...and if you can ... well, then I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Dear Colt McCoy,
I really am sorry that you got hurt just a few snaps in to the BCS Championship game. It was so hard to watch (even though you are a Longhorn). I think you are a good kid; and I think you really live out honoring your faith through your life, in a world where I would imagine that's not "cool". I have a lot of respect for that and I definitely realize that you are an AMAZING athlete. I hope your arm gets better soon, and I hope you keep your head up. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you and all of Austin, Texas wanted. But as you said in the post game interview, at least no matter what happens, you are "standing on the Rock".

Good job kid,
Emily