The Secret Is Out

The older a person gets, the harder it is being single. Not only do we become more jaded with each failed relationship, but our skepticism of the opposite sex rises to new levels. Yet, however cynical our pasts have made us, we don’t give up on finding “the one.” Although, when potential suitors ask us, “Why are you still single?”, it is quite annoying. But I honestly can’t blame them for inquiring. Because really, something must be wrong with us lonely, single people, right?! Wrong. The follow-up to this question is even worse: “Are you secretly crazy?” Well, if it’s a secret, then why would I tell you?

While I get the rationale behind these questions, having to answer them is like a routine visit to the gynecologist; it doesn’t necessarily hurt, but it doesn’t feel pleasant. Obviously, men are surprised when they meet an attractive, funny, successful single woman who can’t yet be considered a “cougar,” but whose “knight in shining armor” is lost on some deserted country road. One thinks, “WTF? Why is this woman alone?”

Even if us women knew the answer to this question, I’m not so sure we’d be satisfied with it. Are we single because we just haven’t met the right person? Have we become too picky? Too intimidating? If we’re really a “great catch” like all our friends tell us, then why are we still fish in a sea full of sharks?

Since I can’t pin-point a valid response, I shrug it off because maybe it was only meant to be a rhetorical question in the first place. But since we’re all a bit judgmental, (and sometimes rightly so), it’s inevitable that the follow-up question refers that us hotties might be slightly off our rocker. Because honestly, you can’t seem to fathom the fact that we’re single and sane. Aren’t those people a rarity anyway?

Sorry to burst your bubble, but actually, we are normal. Believe it or not, some of us don’t have a single cat or refer to ourselves as a "spinster". We would never dare try to hack into your voicemail, and amazingly, you’ll never see us on an episode of “Hoarders” or “Cheaters.” We have jobs, make great grades, a strong sense of independence, and would rather you be real than some fake person just looking for a date.

So, the secret’s out: some single women are normal. This might be surprising, and I’d be lying if I said that I don’t judge men too, because I do. Perhaps this double-standard is just a defense mechanism that single people everywhere use to weed-out the crazies and protect themselves from douchebags. Can you blame us?

Maybe once we reach an age where society expects most of us to be a plus-one, we feel like the outcast, and let’s face it: being the minority in a room full of couples just sucks. But that doesn’t mean we’re diseased. Or psychotic. Or even unhappy. We just refuse to settle.

So if you’re lucky enough to have once had the pleasure of meeting someone who’s just your degree of nuttiness, then perhaps there’s still some hope.

And that’s no secret.