Dear So and So

Dear Kansas Jayhawks,
I am so sorry that you completely blew it over the weekend. I don't know what happened to you. While normally I would not be a fan of yours (go Raiders!), I really wanted you to do as well as the media thought you would. And, I'm not a John Wall fan, so I really wanted you to beat Kentucky. Better luck next year.

It's just a game,
Emily

Sophie Grace,
Little girl, if you don't stop growling at me when I'm petting you after you've just begged for attention for a few minutes, the petting will stop little one. Don't test me. Please be nice to me... that food in your belly comes from me.

Be nice,
Momma

Dear UPS,
Please don't let me down. I'm waiting for the Blind Side to be delivered to my door today and you better not let me down. Don't withhold such wonderfulness from me.

Brown looks good on you,
Emily

Dear Kate,
I've never been your biggest fan. I think you are a bit too gripe-y and just plain annoying. I will say that your longer hair extensions look much better than your previous butch hair-do. But your dancing skills leave a LOT to be desired. I commend your effort, but I'm afraid you won't last long.

Smooches,
Emily


Dear Buzz,
You were soooo cute on Dancing with the Stars. I really don't think you will last very long (you lacked some elegance and grace), but I did think you were adorable and precious to watch. Good luck, moon man.

Love,
Emily


Jesse,
WHAT IN THE WORLD are you thinking, mister? You left this:


For this:


Really? You've got to be kidding me.

Get a grip,
Emily

Dear Kelly Ripa,
Can you please please please eat a hamburger or ten? Thanks.. you need some serious meat on your bones, girl. Feel free to come get some of mine at any time.

Food is love,
Emily


Reese,
It's a well known fact around my blog that I think you rock. But you had a fashion misstep when you *GASP GASP GASP* stepped out in blue and black. Not cool, sister friend. Yes you still looked amazing, but blue and black just don't mesh under any circumstances.


Instead, stick to what works for you.


Love,
Emily

Dear John Wall,
Is there any chance that you could take a hike? I will admit it: you are good. Probably better than most. But. NO ONE is good enough to deserve to have the attitude that you have. It's not good and you look like a douche every single time. Please bring it down a notch; you are way too annoying.

Go Syracuse,
Emily