It Comes and Goes

In the beginning of a relationships, people who knew and loved us would ask me a version of a question that sounded something like, “Are you still happy?” At first we just beamed back at them and nodded yes.

As the months stacked up behind us, I started to wonder about the question. It seemed to me that others were invested somehow in our happiness.

Obviously, the happiness of that relationship didn't last; I'm still looking for my very own McDreamy to make me very McHappy.

Through the years, difficult finances, baggage from past mistakes, and personalities that often seemed more opposite than compatible have taught me the truth about happiness. Happiness comes and goes. It was never meant to stick around.

Breaking the word down to its root reveals the fleeting nature of happiness. Happiness depends on what happens (or doesn’t) in my life. I am happiest when what happens to me is good, and I am least happy when things go badly, or differently than what I had hoped or expected. Relying on happiness to last, or to even “get me through” is a recipe for disaster. Much of what happens to me is out of my control, and putting my hope in happiness leads to disappointment.

The truth is that happiness does what it was designed to do - it comes and it goes.

And I’m OK with that. Because, no matter the circumstance, there is a golden thread that weaves its way through my life: a golden thread of joy. Joy is deeper and richer than happiness. It is a gift from the One who knows me best and who loved me first and most of all. Joy shimmers through the ache of grief and unspeakable loss, through sleepless nights of worry, in the echo of gut-busting laughter with girlfriends. Joy enriches my life and strengthens my relationships.

The gift of joy comes straight from my Abba Father. It runs deep and steady and always. It shimmers in the darkness of the valley of the shadow, and it reflects the light of sacred glory on unveiled faces.

Joy is not dependent on a circumstance or happenstance. Joy is a gift from heaven, wrapped in rags and tucked between the hay and the mist and the lowliness of my life.

Joy is the emotion of heaven, setting up shop in my heart. It’s strong enough to get me through. Look for it - deep and rich, shimmering there, abiding in the mist and in the shadows, or sparkling in dancing eyes. Joy shines through. Always.