Oranges and Asparagus

It's another edition of "Roses and Thorns"

This week, it will be oranges and asparagus.

I LOVE me some oranges. Literally, I eat like an entire bag in a week. I hate peeling them, but I love to eat them. (And your fun fact for the day: Sophie and Sadie love them, too. Don't judge; you know dogs need their Vitamin C, too!)

Quite the opposite in my book is asparagus. I hate it for many reasons. The texture is weird; I don't like half slimy/half crispy food. And I don't think it tastes good. Oh, and when they are being cooked, they stink up the entire house. Yuck.

Oranges

Oranges to the most amazing, incredible, loving, generous mother ever; Happy Mother's Day Mom (again). I love you more than you'll ever know.

Oranges to taking the hardest of my five finals today, on the first official day of finals. I hate tests, but at least the worst is over. Only two more to go!

Oranges to Charles Barkley. OMG that man cracks me up, especially when he does the halftime show on TNT during the NBA playoffs. So hilarious!


Oranges to Betty White on SNL. She was sooo cute, and such a good sport. She reminds me so much of my Meemaw (although Meemaw would DIE before she even thought about watching an episode of Saturday Night Live--not a chance in Hades that she would ever host it).

Oranges to an awesome Dwight Howard dunk; I know it's a few years old, but it's still pretty darn cool. Oh, and oranges to the Orlando Magic (who Dwight plays for)---they made it to the Eastern Conference finals! I hope they eat Cleveland or Boston (depending on who wins that series) alive and make it to the NBA finals.



Oranges to amazing Christian chick-lit.

And oranges to me finally getting to finish a fun book without feeling guilty!

Oranges to Dallas Braden. I had never even heard of the kid before yesterday. He plays for the Oakland Athletic's professional baseball team, and he pitched a perfect game (a rare feat) on Mother's Day. This interview is just precious! That's his grandmother you raised him after his mom died when he was a teenager due to cancer. And for the cherry on top, Braden used to play for Texas Tech baseball! Way to represent, cute boy.


Oranges to these amazing cookies my Mom made. Yes, she cooked on Mother's Day. Don't blame me; it was her idea. I just partook in the awesomeness. These cookies are diviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, I tell you. The closest comparison I have is like a thick flaky pie crust. On a few of them, she put some strawberry jelly and on some of them, she put vanilla icing. OMG. Heaven on earth.

Oranges to Amazon.com. I got confirmation today that my Celine DVDs HAVE BEEN SHIPPED AND ARE SCHEDULED TO ARRIVE BY THURSDAY, MAY 13TH. Oh, how I love you Amazon.
And while I'm at it, oranges to Celine. :)



Asparagus


Asparagus to taking 5 tests and having to be responsible for clinic hours, too. I know that life isn't fair, but that's evil.

Asparagus to being so overwhelmed that I just want to cry.

Asparagus to wind and blowing dust. Yes, I know where I live and I know I shouldn't be surprised. But it still annoys me, after 24 years.

Asparagus to this terrifically ugly dress Katy Perry showed up in.

Asparagus to all the Miss USA hoopla. I remember watching these stupid pageants growing up, mostly to see the evening gowns on such ridiculously gorgeous (and totally unrealistic) girls. I've never understood why parents would let their vulnerable daughters go through all the junk involved in being a "pageant queen". Sadly, we live in a society that places ridiculous pressure on girls to be thin/pretty/sexy in order to have the most value in that society. Many times, the girls competing in these pageants are seen as the thin/pretty/sexy ones by the young woman gawking at them on the TV for 2 hours.

Supposedly, some people think that these pageants evoke a sense of pride, leadership and charity in young women all across America. And I'm sure in some cases, that is true, which I certainly admire. But. These women that young girls are supposed to be looking up to are posing in provocative positions with hardly any clothes on. How is that being a good role model for all these already insecure girls with pressure full force in every direction all around them?

Instead of allowing people to "get to know" these contestants from each US state by using pictures in which they are appropriately clothed, classy and real, they published photos that were pretty raunchy. They are practically lingerie modeling photos! Laying in bed, wearing nothing but a man's shirts, strategically placed in order to cover her ta-tas. Barely covers them, I might add. Posing in their underwear while sprawled provocatively on a bed, showcasing their unrealistically perfect bodies. It just makes girls look like they are way too obsessed with their bodies. And get out of that bed! No 8 year old little girl needs to see you sprawled out with your booty in the air. And I really don't care to see it, either.




And don't get me started on their swimsuit pics! The last time I checked, a bikini has two distinct parts: a top and a bottom. The idea is that these pieces will COVER a woman's assets, both boobs and girly parts. Neither of the swimsuits below tend to provide this very necessary covering. Her boobs are practically spilling over! And one little mishap with those straps, and both of their "names and addresses" (as my Mom says) will be published EVERYWHERE.


I am appalled that this is the image young girls are seeing of America's new "leaders" (as the Miss USA team claims year after year). These girls are just not realistic and representative of the female population. Yet by plastering these photos all over the place, society is inadvertently proclaiming that this is "pretty/hot/sexy".

No wonder American girls have serious issues! Asparagus to that, too!