Random Musings...

In my undergrad days, I had my fair share of horrible classes I absolutely loathed. Anything Poli Sci, Physics and Technical Writing make the short list. As any *perfect angelic* college student will attest, in such boring, pointless and annoying classes, I constantly looked for an excuse to not pay attention. Because sudoku only works so long, I've usually found myself making lists of the randomness that is my life. Shhh... don't tell my parents. They still think that $50,000 undergrad education went to perfectly good use all the time.

Without further adieu, I bring you... Random musings from the past few weeks/months/years.

Random thoughts of an almost 24 (OMG I'm so old!) year old:

~~~I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

~~~Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

~~~I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

~~~I swear dogs have human-esque facial expressions. For example: Dillon, my old "baby" daschund ia the old established ruler of the house and comes in and heads straight for the chair to pass out. If Sadie (my precious, and usually very hyper, Chiweenie) wants to play, Dillon looks at her as if to say: "girl, go away". If Delilah, the other munchkin wants to play, his expression says: "you suck and should really leave me alone now". When Sadie and Delilah play, Dill looks up from his perch as if they are crazy. And when it's time to put Sadie Jane outside for the day, I put her out there, and she immediately turns around and looks at me as if to say: "you gotta be kidding me; princesses NEVER stay outside all day, mean Momma of mine". Spoiled much? Um, yeah.

~~~Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

~~~How did I ever live without DVR? And Grey's Anatomy?

~~~Mozzarella grilled cheese sandwiches are TO DIE FOR!

~~~I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

~~~Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

~~~There is a great need for sarcasm font.

~~~Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

~~~I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

~~~I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

~~~I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

~~~The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

~~~LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

~~~Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

~~~I want a personal maid for one reason: I want her to change the sheets on my bed every single day. Bliss!

~~~Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

~~~How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

~~~I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothas!

~~~Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. The other day I had to spell my last name to the cable company and said "Yes that's F as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...fairies" WTF?!?!

~~~When something insane happens, why do people always shout "oh brother!" instead of say.... "oh sister/mother/fill-in-the-blank"?

~~~MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

~~~Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

~~~I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. Freaks, yes?

~~~I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. Grad. School. Sucks.

~~~Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone (avoiding a test, usually. But I digress) and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Barbie Jeep that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

~~~If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

~~~Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

~~~You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

~~~Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

~~~There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

~~~I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

~~~"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

~~~I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. My thought pattern mimics this: "I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?"

~~~I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? UGH!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

~~~I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

~~~I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

~~~Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

~~~Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

~~~It should probably be called UNplanned Parenthood.

~~~I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

~~~Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my bottom dollar everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

~~~It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

~~~I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind suddenly obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Seeing the flavor of ice cream I'm taking out of the freezer is essential. Not that I buy nasty flavors of ice cream I would never eat, but you get the point.