It Happened Today

WARNING: This post will be more of a rant than anything else. If you don't want to hear me gripe about something that really didn't make me happy today, click the little red box with the white X in the top right hand corner and come back later.

WARNING #2: My Dad always gives me a hard time about being high maintenance. And he occasionally mentions the "s" word. BIG difference from the rant below. I always joke that if I'm high maintenance, it's because he let me. Or if I'm spoiled, it's because he made me that way. It's an ongoing joke. The difference is that he knows the background information (probably better than I do). And I know he's not serious. He likes to give me a hard time, but it's all in good fun.

It happened today (and it happened last night in a pretty heated convo with a jerk "friend" I have; not the exact same words, but the same gist). Someone called me a "rich spoiled rotten brat". And let me tell ya, I could've steamed frozen vegetables in that room I was so mad. It was all I could do not to go off. Thankfully, I didn't. I learned to pick my battles a long time ago.

I took a deep breath and almost immediately texted my Mom. The text read: "I hate it when people call me a spoiled rotten brat. I have such a hard time maintaining any semblance of care and love for them." Her first reply asked who had called me that. I told her. Her next message read: "What were they thinking? I want story 2nite. If God put you in this family, they can complain to HIM." Thank God for that woman. How is it that she knows EXACTLY what I need to hear and EXACTLY when I need to hear it? She's good like that.

And I'm sure some of you are thinking "way to run to Mommy, Emily". Honestly, I wasn't running to my Mom. If there's one person in my life who never fails to make things better, it's her. I've learned to take advantage of it as often as I can. This was one such time. And lets face it: that was exactly what I needed to hear.

Instead of trying to think about it differently, I just started fuming. I was embarrassed that she had called me a "rich spoiled rotten brat". I have always tried my absolute hardest to remain humble with my blessings, and I try really hard not to brag about material "things". I immediately tried to figure out what I had done that would make her think I was such a "spoiled little rich girl". I have never sent out a CNN news bulletin telling the world my school is paid for or that I own my own home before 25. So what made her come to that conclusion?

After I texted my Mom, I quit trying to worry about what I had done to seem spoiled. In that moment, I realized that if she cared enough about me to make judgments about things that she has NO real clue about, I'm already too good for her. I never would have seen that had I not talked to my Mom when I did. All it took was two texts. My entire day did a 180.

Yes, I'm still mad that she called me that (in front of my entire class, no less). But. I absolutely REFUSE to feel bad or guilty about the family GOD gave me. I won the family lottery jackpot. It's not my fault she never even played.

All my life, my family has expected me to go to college. Everyone from my grandparents to all my extended family, and especially my immediate family. It was an expectation, and there would be no excuses. My parents have believed for as long as I've been alive that a college education takes you further than someone without one. My family have always been involved in my academics; no one wanted to call Meemaw and tell her you got a "B" on your report card (partly because there was "good grade money" involved, dependent on the grades). They never expected perfection, but we were expected to work hard, do our best and graduate from college. It didn't matter what we majored in; just that we had that diploma and a job before we turned 80 years old.

Because they've always believed in the power of education, they made excellent decisions long ago. From the time I was two years old, they set up a college fund for me, and my sister as well. College ain't cheap, and my parents aren't stupid. Every month for the last 20 years (at least) a certain amount of money is put in to my account, and one in to my sister's. It goes into a savings account, so it's not like it's easily spent. As a result, by the time we graduated high school, my parents weren't scrounging for money to pay for college. They already had it. And while it paid for a huge chunk of both my sister and I's education, they still had to subsidize it as tuition costs went up. They never wanted us to have to take out loans and spend 20 years paying them back.

They made the decision long ago to raise us as they did. One of the best things about my family is their generosity. They've given me so much and provided in ways I could only dream about, and I've yet to hear a complaint or guilt trip. They did it gladly. In love. And for the record, there's no way I would have what I have had they not thought so far into the future. I'm sure it would suck if her story wasn't like mine. But to be blunt, that's not my problem. Saving money and thinking ahead isn't exactly rocket science and anyone can do it. I'm just lucky my parents love me enough to think of my future long before I was ready to send in college applications. It is their joy to provide for us.

Here's where the judgment comes: Mommy and Daddy put the spoiled little rich girl through school and all she did was sit back. Um, or not.

My parents chose to make something of themselves: my Mom went to law school and is a Dean at a Texas law school. My Dad has his own business and has for 25 years. Both are very successful and wonderful providers. I can't be faulted because I got lucky. They made decisions long before I was conceived, and it has led to a life of blessings. Why should I feel guilty about that? How is that "unfair"? I have no debt because my parents worked their tails off to make sure we had no loans. And to this day, they work their tails off. They've always told us that if we would get through school, make good grades, get a job and be successful, they'll handle the tuition. And they did. My sister is on her own now, and one day I'll be on my own as well. It's the natural progression. So how in the world can I be faulted for that? Why should I feel bad that my parents were able to provide for us above and beyond? And how does that make me "spoiled"? And it's true that my parents are both very successful, but I'd hardly say my family is "rich".

As I said, no one has ever expected perfection from me (thank God!). But I was required to make good grades and "earn" the tuition money from them. Had I decided to party, fail class after class, slack off, etc, it would've stopped. Immediately. So yes, they put us through school, no questions asked. But it is far from "handed to me". They bought me a house. It's not an exaggeration to say that almost all the "things" in my life are a product of my parent's hard work. The same "rules" apply to my house as my school. If I trash it and don't take care of it, it will be gone. I earn the privilege to keep it, free and clear. And I strive every single day to make their money and hard work mean something (disappointing them is NOT an option; they deserve my best, and they'll get it, even if it kills me). I know how lucky I am; how lucky I've always been.

My Dad spent countless hours in the wind/dust/rain to provide for us. My Mom goes above and beyond at work and holds a high-ranking administrative position. Money doesn't grow on trees for them, either. It doesn't just magically pad their bank accounts. They *GASP* work hard.

The person who told me that I was a "spoiled rich girl" has absolutely NO CLUE about my life, much less my bank account (or my parent's bank account). She has no idea what they do for a living, if I have $20000 of school debt or not a dime of school debt. Not. A. Thing. Yet she chose to pass judgment on me and my family. And that's when I got the most angry. I've said it before, and I'll stand by it: don't hurt the people I love--ESPECIALLY not my immediate family. That comment hurt me. And it was pretty disrespectful to my family, as well. I have no tolerance for that. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

So not only was I mad that she had called me that, but she had just potentially hurt everyone I hold most dear to me. NOT cool. And I really don't know this girl's story her life may suck for all I know. I am fully aware of the fact that I'm in the minority. Not many parents are as generous as mine. Not everyone is willing to provide for their kids as my parents have. Not many people graduate with no debt, a house and that purple Coach wallet. That girl has NO IDEA how I'm getting through school, how much money my family (supposedly) has. So who is she to call me a "spoiled rotten rich brat"?

Honestly, I'm sorry if her life hasn't been as "easy" as mine. But it's not fair to hold that against me, and it certainly doesn't make me spoiled. It's not like my family was the one group of "chosen ones" to stand above the rest. ANYONE can achieve what we have. If her and her family chose not to, that's not my problem.

And that doesn't make me a "spoiled little rich girl". It makes me blessed. I recognize how lucky I am and praise God for it DAILY.

This post has gotten long winded, but I just had to vent. By the way, it still makes me angry to think about her saying that in front of my entire class. I guess my biggest problem was just the assumption she made about me that was so negative and she had no reason to think that. I'm not even sure why I care as much as I do.

If only I had the nerve to tell her to complain to God instead of blaming me for being fortunate.

Rant over.