A Day In The Life

Today between clinic and class, I had to pee. Sorry if that's TMI, but it sets up this story. In the restroom at the hospital (where I also go to school), I heard what is quite possibly the funniest thing, ever, from the mouth of a child.

I walked into the girl's room and there was a mom “standing guard” at the handicapped stall. Her young son was inside the stall... how shall I say this... going number two. I know this because as he spoke to his Momma, he was grunting as if he were passing a small gerbil.

The boy was very concerned that the door to his stall was unlocked, but his Mom reassured him that she was guarding the door with all her might and wouldn’t let anyone in.

"But Mom!" said the boy. "What if a herd of elephants storms the bathroom?"

"It’s ok, sweetie," said the Mom. "I can handle those elephants. No one will get in."

"But Mom! What if rhinoceros-es try to get in?"

"I’ve got your back, kiddo. Bring on the rhinoceros. They won't get in, either."

"But Mom! What if monkeys try to get in?"

"Well, kiddo. The monkeys could probably climb over me and into the stall, so I’m not sure I could keep the monkeys out."

(Pause from the boy.)

"That’s ok, Mom," he said, still grunting through his speech. "I’ll just stink ‘em out."

I had to leave so the precious child didn't hear me laughing.