To Be Who You Are

It's amazing to me, how at one moment you can look at yourself in the mirror and understand with perfect clarity who you are and what you stand for, and in just a matter of moments, you are face to face with a person you've never met. Sure, the person looks like you, but nothing about that person seems familiar or even recognizable.

It's in these moments that you ask yourself what has gotten you to the point in your life where you stand.

There have been countless times where you have gone down a path, only to find out that it's a dead end, or even worse, a wrong turn. You start to realize that you are tired of just going along with the crowd, and you realize things about yourself that you never knew, and some you may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start to look around and evaluate the people around you , and you realize that the people you thought you were so close to maybe aren't the greatest of people, and the people you let slip away were some of the most important ones. One minute you are secure, the next, insecure. You start to realize your list of what is acceptable and what isn't has begun to grow, along with your opinions. You begin to realize the boundaries that you have set in your life, and wonder how you ever could have crossed them in the past.

You find yourself judging people more than usual, only to find that what you dislike in them, is really something inside you. You suddenly realize that change has become the enemy, so you hold on to the past with dear life, only to find it slipping further and further away, and there is absolutely nothing you can do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get hurt because no matter how slim the odds are, a part of you always believes in the impossible. Then you realize maybe that's not always such a bad thing. Granted, it's painful when life hits you at your seemingly lowest point, but you look behind you and see how far hope has gotten you. Then you realize that perhaps hope is not so much an emotion as it is a gift, which, in your darkest moments, keeps you alive. And although it doesn't promise an immediate happy ending, it promises not to let life just end. And in the same way, it cannot always bring you a second chance to fight; it will always give you a fighting chance.

You begin to appreciate that other people's opinions really don't matter, but at the same time, you struggle with how to disregard what they think. You find out that people really are selfish by nature and no matter how much someone cares about you, eventually they will let you down and it's up to you to determine whether or not it is worth the pain.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and yet you are still unable to find any answers. Then you realize that maybe life isn't about finding the right answer…. maybe it's about finding all the wrong answers and making them right. And although there will be countless times where you will stare at that stranger in the mirror, know that eventually the two will become one, and you will finally know what it feels like to be who you are.