Learning to be God's Me

I'm going to be real...because sometimes it just takes way too much energy for me to pretend like everything is perfect.

My life is not perfect.

I've been astonished by people that have said "You seemed like you had it all together." Really?

Are you seeing the same life I'm seeing???

I've been struggling for 24 years now with being the ME I want to be. You may be thinking, What on earth does that mean??

God has created ME and planned an entire lifespan for ME. He has a plan for ME. I'm His. But I've spent most of my life trying to be my feeble, insignificant version of ME.

The ME that will graduate at the top of my class. Didn't happen; I was close but certainly not the top.

The ME that majors in Elementary Education and becomes a school teacher. Didn't happen. I now have a degree in Biology.

The ME that marries my high school sweet heart. Didn't happen. Broke up loooooooong before high school graduation.

The ME that meets lots of other great boys and gets married before I graduate college. Didn't happen. I spent 95% of the rest of my college career single.

The ME that gets all the super-duper awards in graduate school. Hasn't happened yet. I've done well so far, but I'm still in my first year. I've got a long way to go.

The ME that gets the exact job I want right after college. Might not happen. I honestly have no idea.

The ME that has a perfect career one day in a place where everyone thinks I hung the moon. Just might not happen. I'm willing to bet it won't.

The ME that would have had a perfect marriage. Definitely didn't happen.

The ME that would never have to deal with an employer that didn't appreciate me. Didn't happen.

So much of my life I've planned out so that I'll be the ME and I want to be. But it's true what they say: Life is what happens when you're busy making plans. So while I was busy trying to become the ME I wanted to be, life dealt me a different version of ME.

This is God's ME...the ME He has chosen for me.

I saw a church sign this week that said, "Rejection is God's protection."

Well, all I can say is that He must be protecting me A LOT lately.

I'm trying, very hard, to accept the rejection and savor the protection while also understanding that God has a plan for ME. He is my faithful Father that will always love ME. He knows every part of ME.

So maybe if I'd quit making plans and learn to accept the ME God has given, my life would be full of more contentment. Heck, maybe it would even seem to make some sense now and then.

So the ME I am may not be attractive to anybody else. The ME I am may look all mangled and pathetic. The ME I am probably looks pretty hopeless.

But... it's the ME God has created and I'm banking on the fact that He's going to use this ME to bring glory to HIM.