Trash

As I headed out of the kitchen, trash bag in hand, my load suddenly felt lighter and my feet felt wet and sticky. Jabs of pain radiated down my thigh.

Earlier that day I had hastily tossed a broken wire hanger into the trash can. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently the metal stick landed in just the right spot to tear open the bag and simultaneously gash my leg.

I stood surveying the stinky mess that was all over the floor I had scrubbed. What was once spotless was covered in nastiness.

In that moment I did a lot of futile wishing.

I wished that I had never thrown that stupid hanger away.

I wished that my leg wasn't bleeding.

I even wished that my name was Carol Brady and that a trusty housekeeper named Alice would clean up the mess for me.

But none of my wishing altered my reality. There was a big ugly mess on my kitchen floor and I was responsible for cleaning it up.

As I examine my life, I can recall many messes made in the deepest parts of my heart, spirit, and mind. Like the gunky monstrosity caused by the broken trash bag, some of my messes were created by my negligence, sins, and mistakes.

The mirror of my past reflects broken relationships damaged by insecurities, debt resulting from overspending, and angry tirades as I pursued perfection. Instead of cleaning up the messes as I made them, I spent years hiding my self-wreckage in a dark closet of blame and excuses.

There also have been times when I stood in a pile of garbage not of my own making. Verbal attacks, betrayal, and deception pummeled me just like the bag of trash splattered on my kitchen floor.

For years I felt that messes I didn't create on my own were not my responsibility. I put those into a box labeled “victim,” hid them, and hoped that somehow they would disappear.

About two years ago I discovered a life-changing fact regarding the messes of life: the trash’s origin makes little difference at clean up time.

Refusing to clean a mess that someone else made or started to make doesn’t hide the smell. Stamping my feet and wailing, “It’s not fair,” may get short term sympathy but it won’t rid the stain.

There are lots of things I can do with a mess. I can analyze it, call an expert to examine it, investigate it, and give it a fancy name like “dysfunctional matter.” I can even cleverly arrange a few pieces into abstract art. (Not that I would ever do that, but you get the point.)

In Joshua 1:5 God promises “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

I’m glad I don’t have to go about my cleaning by myself; because when I do take that approach I just end up making a much bigger mess.

Cleaning up with God isn’t always easy. He is thorough and the labor is exhausting but you had better believe the job is done right.

My Prince of Peace is beside me each step of the way brushing back my hair, holding the trash bag, and whispering “draw closer sweet one, you can do this. With me, you will see the beauty underneath this garbage. I promise.”

Regardless of the heap’s depth, stickiness, or odor, it is cleanable (I hope that's a word, but I'm pretty sure it is). And there is no scent more fragrant than the love of Christ.